Nostalgia, and Something Else

Tonight I took a spin through the blogosphere, catching up on friends' blogs. It used to be a regular habit (as you all probably know) but lately died off (again, you probably know). No more Aimee comments, or already knowing your news when I see you.

Anyway, I enjoyed it so much, it made me miss it and wonder, what happened?

I think part is the FaceBook / Twitter factor. Why type or read 3 grafs when 47 characters can tell me your latest and greatest?

I think clearly, part is my time. Post Rachel, unless work is unseasonably slow ... even on a regular week, I just truly feel that I. Have. No. Time.

Or rather, none for blogging, that I wouldn't rather put into something else. The 30 - 60 minutes I used to put to blogging, then get my TV time / extra sleep time in, too, has gone POOF with the moment I walked that baby girl through our front door in August last year.

Now, it's a precious 30 minutes to myself at the end of the night, maybe, and I'm just finding I'd rather spend it reading in bed, watching TV or go to bed at 9:30. Just anything totally mindless(trust me, the reading's mindless) non-participatory activity.

And then it ties in to ME just not feeling the blogging bug right now. I hate that I'm not, but it's true. But sad. Because one reason I did it was to document what the kids are up to, for posterity, and for family.

Okay, really I documented Matthew ... Rachel's life has never quite gotten to that status and hell, we know that is just normal second kid syndrome ("hmm, where is YOUR baby book, Rachel? well it must be in the attic, HMMmm, go ask Daddy..." "quick, fill out her blank, dusty baby book!"). I try not to feel too guilty. But I liked having those pieces of their lives down. And I imagined that someday, so would they.

Another part of what's going on is that because we are all SO much more connected - sometimes it's feeling, in a NOT so great way. Just more and more feel that nothing's personal. So, my FaceBook connects so someone's whose connects to their blog to mine ... basically, I consider anything on the ol' interweb to be so public that sharing my real, true thoughts with you now becomes ... for various reasons ... impossible.

And I'm not good at the random trivia. I'm not a "did you ever notice ..." kinda blogger. I'm more a "this happened, CRAP, let me ruminate here about it ..." and when I don't feel I can say what I want, then what is there to say?

Soooo ... for a long time that just left me with happy, inocuous posts. Kid milestones. New photos. Birthday party updates. Which are great and important and I want to make time for those too.

But my point of view feels gone, and I think with it, my motivation.

Oh well, at least I choked this whiny one out right?

Advice? Feeling the blogging burn, ladies?

Concession Post

So, hmm, I do not seem to be blogging much. Sad. Just ... absorbed in work, life, and other things, I guess. Hey - I've actually been reading! Stupid stupid Twilight series sucking me in (save the commentary, non-fans - it's dorky, I know).

And yes, I even missed commemorating my baby girl's birthday, birthday party, Bridget's and much more. Unforgivable!

Recognizing, however, I still don't have it in me to scoop it all up in some witty posts just yet, but not wanting to deprive you of my beautiful girl's birthday shots any longer, I'm hoping this will tie you over.

This one's on my screen saver at work every day and just really makes me happy.

This is probably my favorite of the bunch. Grama Claudia and her baby Rachel.

Of course, then there's Daddy tending to his cake-faced one year old daughter (sigh :)

And the artsy black and white - Rachel with her most favorite toy, my old (OLD) doll from when I was a baby. These are all taken by Uncle Mark Jones at her party. He posted them to Picasa for me before I even had thought about downloading mine, which didn't compared at all. Mark was like a photojournalist, all OVER this party. Thank you Mark, what a gift.

Why I Like Taking Him to School

Even though it adds to an already rushed pre-work morning routine, I have claimed the job to take Matthew to school Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Even though Mike literally works about 200 feet from his school.

THIS face is a nice way to start the day.

Granted, this was from his first day of school. Not getting this joyful reaction every day. Some days, it's more like giant amounts of "I don't want to go - I want today to be a home day!"

Which is fine, because (a) he's adjusting to not having his Libby everyday and that's a tough one, and (b) he only got to bring that Lightning McQueen backpack on day 1, since it was all for show. Nothing in it. How could he ever get THIS excited again then?

But I like to think he feels a BIT of that excitement when he walks in each day to his big boy school, even if he won't admit it. I sure feel it for him.

Happy Crawler, circa 9 1/2 months

Had a few minutes, so I'm looking for photos to print. Even though it's dated, how cute is this? It was take in early June - just after Memorial Day weekend when she learned to crawl.

See that face? She was OVERJOYED by her new capacity for movement, escaping us, and finding trouble unaided all over the house. My girl.

What You See is What You Get

I have neglected my social media channels badly lately. I am attempting to carve out precious time to dip a toe back in. So you'd think I'd be using that time wisely to tell you about my children or maybe my views on really really important things. Wrong-o. After learning about WhoTheTweet from EEJ, naturally I just took the time to have someone else tell me what I Tweet about.

But it WAS kind of cool. And look - gosh - THIS should teach me not to get political. The election seasons, and me home on maternity leave with a constant overload of CNN, and one free hand to text even while feeding the baby, still haunts me.

But who is Thomas? Thomas the Train? Thomas the little blue train?? Why pray tell would that show up in my top words? I do remember some Tweets last fall with a couple friends about, did you take your kid to see the Thomas live show? Oh yeah, what was that like? But I think even prefer 'weight' and 'Palin' to knowing that I spent that much time giving that little blue engine (aka marketing ploy that has probably $500 worth of merchandise in my very small child's room right now) more air time.

11 Things About Rachel as an 11 Month Old

Just perusing months of backlog blog reading to inspire me to finally post again. So hard to restart after hiatus. Then I saw where my friend Cara posted this type of post for her 13 month old daughter. Okay, a focused angle. I can handle this!

1) She is awake for 60 minutes on the dot before she takes a hard core morning nap. (Except this morning of course, since I need her to be while I blog this.)

2) She is still eating some baby food for our convenience but mostly people food. Favorites include avocado, banana, any crackers or starchy thing like bits of wheat bread, yogurt and any type of meat (my little carnivore, for sure - Matthew wouldn't touch anything besides bits of chicken, maybe). We haven't tried milk. She gets formula in her bottle - and won't do the sippy (unless by "do" you mean bang it around and throw to the floor, that she'll do.)

3) Her favorite thing in the world is the cat. Hands down, bar none, I've never seen a child react like this to an animal. She squeals, grabs the fur, but also rolls her face on her, makes this sort of humming noise of happiness, and then rears up on her knees, puts her arms up in the air roller coaster style, SCREAMS, then flops on kitty full force. For more "love." And to answer the inevitable next question: yes, the cat actually tolerates it, for a while, before bolting, after which point, Rachel will try to dive off the bed, couch, wherever, after her, head first, no thought in the world about falling. She probably wouldn't care, either because ...

4) Rachel seems fearless - especially of us or any sort of disapproval or discipline. By that I mean of course the most basic stuff - Rachel, no no, do NOT go in that dog bowl. RACHEL NO! NOOOO! I have definitely turned up the intensity, more than I ever had to do for Matthew, and it still does NOTHING. The girl turns, grins, maybe even laugh in our face, and double down on whatever naughty/dangerous thing she was doing. She is absolutely our wild child. As she played with the fireplace gates the other day, and Mike is pulling her away repeatedly, I heard him say "Why are you so attracted to things that are bad for you?" and had a foreshadowing of conversations we'll probably be having in her 20's.

5) She is a happy, happy child who loves to laugh. I was speculating last night about whether she missed me on a short biz trip this week, or not. (I'd much prefer not - no ego on this, just want kids happy.) Mike shakes his head and smiles, "I don't think so ... Rachel always just has a good time, honey." As he's saying this she's laughing feeding spaghetti to the dog. Once again, I'm picturing my baby daughter as the someday life of the party in her college years and loving it.

6) She is now playing with that same little Fischer-Price musical "house" that "Santa" brought Matthew for his first Christmas. My first big gift to him that I was so excited to give him, and now watching her crawl back and forth through the door is just adorable, and ring the doorbell, and play with the clock. So many hours spent with her brother doing the same thing, it just warms my heart. She just gets such a kick out of you playing peek a boo through the door and windows, and it's just so cute when she ...

7) Giggles. This is by far the BEST part of having a little girl besides the clothes. Her sweet little girl giggles are different than Matthew and so special to me. She's my daughter, I think when I hear that little voice, that reminds me she's going from baby to little girl much quicker than I can imagine or would like.

8) Her hair is growing longer and sticking out in crazy directions above and below her ears. She's got that frumpy "why do they not FIX that?" look going but like many of you with little girls before me, I can't bear to cut it. We'll just see what happens and hope it grows quick. I still can't figure out barrettes (help needed).

9) Her night sleeping is awesome. Finally. A few months ago, there was a period of waking up 3, 4, 5, 6 (!) times a night for a paci. Not a big deal but layer in the regularly scheduled wakeups around here already for Matthew night terrors, dog whimpering, cat yowling or running, some animal puking ... etc. ... plus getting to bed around midnight for a while there when we were both really busy ... and I was zonked. But for a couple months now, she's goes down at 8 - 8:30, maybe 1 or 2 very quick paci-related wake-ups during the night, and goes until anywhere from 6:30 - 8:30 a.m. (depending on if we're up banging around or sleeping). Big side note: It usually takes her about 2-3 "rounds" of being put to bed to get her down. More often than not we hear crying at least twice within the hour of her going to bed, and take turns going in to find her standing at the end of the crib waiting for us. She doesn't need anything other than to be put back down with her paci, polka-dot blankey along her left side so she can hug it, and big fluffy blankey with the satin trim (that she likes to rub between her fingers) on top of her. We don't have to pick her up usually, but it's a high-maintence, multi-stage tuck in most nights.

10) She is cruising, climbing, practicing letting go and standing with her arms held straight up in the air "look at me!" style - but just for a second. But not walking or standing. People tell us, "Oh, she's just about to walk any minute" but Mommy has a feeling she might stick at this phase for a while. She is hard to predict. At 11 months old, she's totally physical, crawls fast as anything, and loves hitting anything like a bat or golf club to anything like a ball ... but when she doesn't feel like doing it - ala refusing to hold her own bottles STILL - she won't.

11) Her number one most favorite toy - besides the kitty, her brother, or us - is this squeaky old and deadly creepy dolly. That was mine. Something possessed my mom to go out of her way and MAIL this doll to us recently. I wasn't sure why she was so intent on it when Rachel has a zillion toys but maybe she knew something I didn't because Rachel loves this thing. Squeals at it, crawls toward it and even crawls around with it in her hand - pretty impressive coordination, actually. It's the one sure fire thing we can bring when we're out and about to keep her entertained, and for that reason I'm terrified of losing it. It's become the one thing that brings a smile and a screech every time.

Well, that was harder than I thought to contain to 11. Looking forward to 12 more next month ... though NOT to my sweet angel turning one, already.

Happy 11 months, my baby girl!

Sent from Mike's AT&T Samsung i907 Windows Mobile® Smartphone.

This summer I will run a series of posts capturing the funny things my husband sees and emails me about all day long ... hence the title of this post.

I am expecting my AT&T royalties to kick in immediately.

Today:
Matthew, what would you like to eat?
I would like that stuff with the fruit that I just loved yesterday (this morning)

That he "just loved"? Is Matthew now an 85 year old woman at a bake sale? Who talks like this?

When Mom Goes out of Town ...

Baby gets a shiner!

Editor's Note: This blog title courteousy of Erin who shared this photo/fact with me. My husband conveniently forgot. In his defense, the same thing happened in my care last weekend when HE was out of town. Unexplained bruise on her forehead. Guess the ravages of crawling have begun to take effect on my poor baby girl!

Progress as Promised: THE MULDROWS DECORATE

Many of you dear readers have been to our house. And our horribly decorated front rooms - living and dining. For a year I have felt the need to apologize to visitors who open the front door to a view along these lines.

When I bought the house, I thought it had these pale dirty-cream looking walls that we'd need to paint over, when we could. But oh wait - upon closer inspection after moving in, the situation escalated immediately when we realized, they are not dirty or cream. But LIGHT GOLD SPONGED PAINTED. Honest to God it must have been so much work for the prior owners* they covered every inch. Boy do I wish I had a close up for posterity.

*Prior owners of course defined here as, totally crazy people . Can you imagine purposefully sponge painting six big walls a disgusting putrid yellow. And, I mean, many of you have seen the office. How did they even GET HOLD OF bald eagle themed wall border? Where? On what star spangled black market do they even make it?

Anyway, after a full year, I was also tired of cringing as guests viewed the way our hand me down glass dining room set, which matched our old place, sort of, matched absolutely nothing here. Especially when placed so elegantly beneath our carnival style haunted house/Elton John stage set, candelabra.

Not pictured: My Grama's wooden rocking chair where was forced to be used as actual guest seating for the past year.

Well now, dear readers, let me present ... our new look!

We randomly decided to do paint over Memorial Day. It was either that or divorce each other; reason cited would be "inability to decide on ANYTHING." So we just pulled the trigger, dropped some dough on paint at Lowe's, let the kids watch ridiculous amounts of TV and just did it.

Mike stayed up really late one night to finish a lot up by himself (a round of golf quid pro quo was involved, don't worry). But he didn't mind. He'd been pushing me to do this. See how happy he looks?

We painted our long wall from the living room to the dining room an olive green.
The rest of the walls in both rooms are "Oatbran." OwWW, walkin' on the design wild side, I know. But just my ability to show you the following photo took a took a year of debate and many, many trees killed in paint chips.

In fact, you might say, hmm, aren't these the colors you had picked out when i visited you (earlier this year? At Christmas? Last summer before Rachel was born?) Yes, right you are. But the exact oat-y and olive-y decisions took a long time to feel good about. And which walls to do what, my God, I think I burst some brain cells.

Anyway, we also replaced the light fixture (I swear, it felt like a stage prop from the Muppet show) and also bought a new dining room table. THAT search was a mini-saga, so I'll just say, thank you, Weekends Only. After enough trips, you finally did us right.

Also we bought what I affectionately refer to as our Grama chair...technically matches, was a steal, super comfy ... but, tis just a little fugly, if you ask me. Mikey loves it though. And as you can see, thank GOD the cat who pees on all of our belongings likes it.

Also, after fruitless months searching for a second chair, we ended up sacrificing the orange leather one from the office. That went from front, to office, but not it's in a differnt spot in the front so NOW, by God, we've got this mess sorted.

But seriously, I just love finding a new use for old stuff instead of buying new. The chair's now perfectly setup as the comfy reading chair, complete with reading light. In two weeks I've sat in it more than I did in four months in that other room, even though it looked real cute and den-y in there.

So, what do you think, interweb friends?

Do we look like we finally live here? Cuz it does finally feel like our home.

Take My Advice

Tonight's child hygiene snafu was enough to shake me out of my non-blogging funk.

Take my advice: when What to Expect the First Year suggests rubbing mineral oil or petroleum jelly into baby's hair to remove her yellow, scaly cradle cap ... either live with the scales, or take the time to drive 2 minutes to Walgreen's and buy the mineral oil.

Do NOT use decide to use petroleum jelly just because that's what you have on hand. DON'T.

After 5 or 6 hair washings with regular baby shampoo, and 3 with a paste of baking soda mixed with baby shampoo (per interweb advice) she is only about 5% less greasy. Which still makes her as sticky and greasy as (fill in the blank - oil slick, 1950's teenage gangster's hairdo, VERY FULL POT OF VASELINE).

Should have snapped a photo but I was too traumatized working to quickly remove as much as a could, with household supplies we had on hand, given it was already running up on past bedtime by this point and I didn't have many options.

Verdict: on balance, interweb advice recommends cornstarch (and as I don't cook, I presently own none), followed by combinations of many non-baby friendly things like HOT water rinses, dish soap and multiple multiple shampoos.

They also say some will just absorb into a healthy scalp. Let's hope her scalp is SUPER healthy and starts to absorbin' quickly because I just feel terrible about putting her to bed like that tonight ... basically, dirtier than she's ever been going INTO a bath!

Mike accused me of "freaking out" but really, ladies, isn't our little girls' sweet smelling, soft hair out of the bath one of the highlights of mothering them? It is for me. I get a huge kick out of brushing it and I bury my head in her little fringe at her neck when I'm putting her to sleep.

Tonight it was like snuggling up with heavily glazed ham. And she looked ridiculous - it was all slicked down and awful. I was thinking, oh crap, Mike's not gonna want to try and clean it tomorrow until I get home, but he cannot take her to the grocery store looking like this!

Thankfully she's blissfully unaware of how yucky she looks. Before bed she was happy as ever, just grinning away under her balding old man's combover hairdo.

UPDATE: This morning, she woke up less greasy, though certainly not all shiny and fresh haired. I've downgraded her from glazed ham to day old porkchop.

Rachel's 8 Month, Mommy Fueled Photo Shoot

She's loving her tummy now because she can finally hold herself up for a long time, plus wiggle and scoot to her desired destination, eventually.

Rachel's signature move from this stage of her babyhood is the head tilt. She literally loves looking at life from all angles. Sometimes with a face so very serious (her other signature) and sometimes, so giggly and happy.

Our darling girl

One Year Olds We Love, Part 1

Given the population explosion that happened in my circle about this time last year - with four darling children born in the month of May - I'm thinking this will be a series.

But we'll start with their senior partner ... Baby Shane. Only the most smiley, charming, handsome baby boy you'll ever meet.

He's always laughing, except lately, when he's yelling for Mom - his number one most awesome and favorite person ever in the world EVER - for better or worse. I'm quite certain many of my readership can relate to that mix of being overwhelmed by their need ... and by the amazing feeling of one little person loving you so much.

What I love about Shane: He likes cuddling and rocking and passes out as he's having his nighttime baba. A true mom's baby. I love cuddlers and don't have one right now. Rachel's kinda hands off at night night time. Sometime I just want to rent Shane out about 7 p.m. when he's sleepy.

What I also love: even though I haven't spent as much one on one time with him as I did with Bridget - the curse of the Seconds - he gives the best greeting and wiggles around and will come to me almost every time.

So endearing and more a sign of what I bet will be a lifelong sunny personality than any special love for me. Even though, I certainly have a very special love for him ... our second little man of the gang ... and as Matthew's Grama would say, a VERY handsome devil.

Happy birthday, Baby Shane. I agree with your mom that you WILL still be Baby Shane when you're 24.

Absolute Love and Joy ...

... Is when you hear your little 3 year old little son sing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" in the most sweet, earnest voice, with eyebrows wiggling around expressively, working so hard to remember the words, while you sit with him eating dinner, sharing a slice of pizza, and feeding your baby daughter who's giggling and kicking around, watching him. And he's telling you, "Now your turn, Mom" and then "Now, it's MY turn, let's SING it toGEDer, Mo-oooom."

I should have gotten the video camera. Someday, I will give my right arm to hear that little boy voice again, I will wish I could see just 10 seconds of him singing. But honestly, I was too caught up with the moment ... and how truly good life with kids can be sometimes.

Matthew's Had Milestones, Too

And this about sums it up. TWO Lightning McQueen third birthday parties. Two LM cakes. One LM hat. Several LM action toys. And one billion times a day to talk about LM and said items, leading up to and since then.

Just kidding. There's a LOT more about my little buddy's third birthday that I want to say, and plan to. But I thought a photo of the most handsome three year old on the planet might hold ya over for now.

Staged Sibling Love from Easter at Grama's

Still doesn't make it any less heartmelting, does it?

Milestones I Can't Not Blog

I'll skip the preamble (so awkward trying to catch up on missed history with old friends, and same with blogs, isn't it?) and get straight to the good stuff:

Rachel baby update ...

Said her first word, 'Dada' on Friday May 1. Guess she wasn't content to let baby Shane have the spotlight with his own first birthday all to himself (that's my girl).

Mike swears she said it reaching up and then looking at him. I find she says it to me, Matthew, her feet, the wall next to her changing table, and really any passing object. But damn, I'll be glad to hear her mislabeling objects as Mama soon!

Think Matthew was the same way with the Dada first. Now before I go all working mommy guilt on you and think, ohhh, he's home more that's why ... my very own baby book and my little brother's, which were written by my mom who stayed at home at the time, noted her irritation at us ungrateful babies not only SAYING Dada first, but preferring him over her for a period of time as late stage babies. So Dads, if you got it, you got it.

Rachel is also on the verge of crawling. And I'm having that same "What am I thinking?" reaction every time I sit and watch and encourage and put my arm out for her to push off of/coaching move. Several babies I know just hit the crawler phase and guess what - I KNOW it sucks, made life X variable times harder, and that the gating / security system I will have to put up will know no bounds. Also, Libby may just conveniently stop remembering the way to our house. I know she's terrified, too.

Rachel is definitely a more curious kid than Matthew. She's a grabber and a taster. She watches. She's been scooting backward at a good clip for a couple weeks now, and she will back up around completely around the perimeter of the kitchen just to get one teeny tiny leaf the dogs dragged in that I didn't even see til it's in her little spitty chubby pincher and then mouth.

She just gives off a different vibe. Matthew didn't play with cords or go for light sockets. He was into his books and toys from the beginning. I will not state in print the amount of child proofing that I never did with Matthew ... he just, didn't explore.

But Rachel - she will be a nutcase. And I think I love it! It's that first sense I'm getting of her, her personality, that crazy little side of her I always knew for some reason would come out. I look at my knick knacks on the lower shelf of our front table (gone) and the bundles of cords (tied up) and the gate above our basement stairs that is presently more in name only than something that would keep a baby from going down the stairs because it's got a huge gap underneath (will be adding a second one at the step above it) and the office supplies I just neatly organized into baskets on LOW shelves all over our office (oh HA HA HA those are all gonna need to be empty and probably bolted to the walls).

I can just tell she's gonna be a monkey, a climber - and a stinker. And for some reason - maybe cuz that's still conceptual versus a reality yet (that will ruin my free time and oh, you know, occasionally risk her safety) I just get a kick out of it.

And Here I Thought Grama Was a Responsible Babysittier

Clearly she's confused my baby with the mountains of dirty laundry she must have found around my house the week she watched the kids.

This was a sweet surprise I just found on the computer. I must have been mid Caribbean isle the day these two best buddies - Grama Claudia and Rachel - snapped this. At the time, I would have traded places, I missed the kids so much.

But now, with Cranky Pants Muldrow Jr. waking up every 10 in other room - I'm thinking, I'll take the isle.

Well Let's Just See

I'm doing piles of work, Mike's scrambling in the other room to do our taxes on April 14th, and Rachel went to bed without a bottle tonight after fighting us on it for over an house.

What kind of sleep do YOU think we're going to get tonight?

And you can't say "A big pile of #$%!" no fair, cheating, that's too easy!

Answers may be:
a) Some
b) Sketchy amounts
c) Minimal, irritating to coworkers in the morning amounts
d) Tired, killing rampage tomorrow amounts

Stay tuned tomorrow for the answer!

p.s. Rachel, my little overachiever, c'mon - go for the "A"!

p.s.s. You can easily do good billing reports while watching American Idol. And yes, I DO love you, Kutey Pie Kris!

Because I Still Have Children - Photos from the last month or so

Rachel in her little black dress shirt from Grama Claudia.

Mike and Matthew at the first Spring Zoo visit.

The kids ready to tackle the Zoo.

Rachel sits up in her baths now like a big girl - and yep, she's almost always this happy and smiley these days except when she's sleeping or hungry (aka our lil piggy).

More to come ... unless I am lying and disappear for another 6 weeks, he.

YES IT'S REALLY ME and no I'm not ready to recap the last 6 weeks yet

Hi friends! I simply couldn't let one more minute go by without posting and catching up on my friends' blogs. So there I go to Erin's to see what I missed about her family, and see her recap of our cruise vacation together last week. But then her post about Digital Moms got me intrigued, so per Erin's suggested I surfed over to Dooce.com to see what SHE had to say about Twittering and FB'ing moms. (I was of course just waiting for the big controversial oh, moms neglect their kids or oh, moms risk their kids privacy stuff ... and was waiting to see if I had a violent reaction to it, one way or another).

And then I did NOT read that article, but instead got sucked into one of Heather's (many) side advertisements, specifically, this video from the Momversations.com website. The topic? Family dinners.

Now I'm thinking: (a) what do I care about family dinners? (b) what does Miss Heather (who talks politics and depression and "deep stuff") Armstrong care about family dinners and (c) gee the digital mommy advertising revolution really has sort of, well, Madison-avenued out the best and most sincere of us. Momversations? Please.

But then I actually really enjoyed it. I learned of several new mommy bloggers that I might start following - seemingly smart and funny women I wouldn't have known about except for this dumb "ad." (Giyen and Mindy - anyone read 'em?)

I also mostly appreciated seeing how a seemingly commercialized Heather ... agreeing to do this sponsored link (yes I sat through the full 30 second opening of a Target pitch) looked completely uncomfortable and nervous being shot on video. It was sort of reassuring that even as marketers tap bloggers and leverage them for their own purposes, and moms vie to make some money from it (hey more power to ya), real people are still real people ... yes you can use me for it but I can't complete change who I am. Anyway, that's my deep interpretation of a 3 minute web video.

It als reminded me how much I've missed the interweb these last 6? 7? 8? weeks of intense work and lack of life balance. I am enjoying a beautiful sunny Spring Saturday morning view out my back window, drinking my coffee, posting my random and inconsequential thoughts, and catching up on those from my friends - and complete strangers, of course! - from the last month and a half. And just thinking ahhhh ... I'm home.

Next up: a real update on my life.

News Flashes I Have Deprived You Of Lately

I am working a LOT.

Rachel learned to sit up last Monday night, 5 days before her 6 month birthday, and 1 day after we took photos in which sitting up would have been extremely helpful. Now here she is just one week later, moving from very wobbly to just moderately so. It's almost to the point where I could leave her sit and run out of the room without fear she's tip backward and brain herself. I could not be more damn proud.

Meanwhile, Matthew's maybe missing me a bit, either that or hitting terrible 3's early. He's on a terribly frustrating downward bedtime spiral, right at the time Rachel's fine-a-leeeee back to sleeping through the night and going to bed easily. Take 20 minutes to wrestle him in bed, and at least 45 minutes to keep him there. Last night I heard the last remants of him reciting his "Cars" book to himself in bed, well into the 10pm hour. Then we had a couple night time wake-ups involving yelling, tears and tucking back in at the 3am and 5am hours.

Send toddler drugging pills, please.

I am counting the minutes to vacation.
I am stressed.
But Mike is keeping the trains on the tracks at home, thank God.

That's all I got. Just ... wish me luck with returning to regularly scheduled posting/sleeping/breathing, soon.

New Leaf, Far Less Points

Yesterday we bit the bullet and invested in a Wii and Wii Fit. This morning, I spent half hour stretching and doing yoga and yes, sadly, feeling my pulse rate rise from that limited movement.

So apparently Mr. Snotty Pants Wii was right ... maybe I AM the "Wii Age" of a 50 year old? AWESOME.

Since I'm now trying to "move more" I thought I also might get back to the "eating less" side of things. I started this around 7 weeks into my maternity leave ... tapping once again my old BFF - but also, new nemesis - Weight Watchers.

Old BFF, because I lost nearly 50 lbs following WW alone (didn't work out) the year after I had Matthew.

New nemesis, because my post-Rachel WW kick lasted several weeks, stopped since thin ... and never once in that time rivaled the discipline I showed the first time. I didn't even have that honeymoon period where you rigorously meeting your points for a couple weeks, before cheating starts.

I was pretty much over 10 - 20 points a day (got 33 a day total). So basically I was overeating daily and just, you know, tracking that fact for posterity.

So obviously when I got too busy and had 15 minutes to track my overeating or sit down or play with a child, I just stopped tracking all together. And it's showed ... I've put on probably 5 lbs since then and it's no secret why. We're busy, we cook frozen pizza, we take out on the way home from work. Yesterday it was Chipotle for lunch and Webster Wok for dinner. What am I expecting here??

So in honor of my gigantic Wii Fit investment - and the monthly deductions for WW online that STILL come off my credit card whether I'm getting thinner or fatter - I'm starting anew.

But I'm sure wishing I had those 33 points back...retaking the quiz today, and unchecking the "nursing mom" box dropped me down to 22 points.

So guess using well over half of that for a pancake breakfast this morning was not advisable, eh?

Send celery and fat-free Italian, quick!

FDA Approves Depressant Drug for the Annoyingly Cheerful

Yes, it's true. At last, a cure all for those silly Suzy Sunshines of the world!

The ones you want to kick in the shins, spit in their lemonaid, and toss their car keys in the trash. All before you kinda, knock them over.

Harsh? No... just STOP being so CHIPPER, it's HORRENDOUS!
And now you can take your pill.

(Gee, can you tell it's been A Week?)

Just watch this video. SO worth the click through.

Brown Saturday

I was going to title this Black Saturday to match my mood and the general way this day has gone so far. Wrong? Nothing really is wrong. Just too much to do for one weekend, constantly chipping away at a too long Life and Work to do list that seemingly has no end. (And the battle of the Muldrows vs. DMV to title the new car that we've owned since November is not going well).

It's just that feeling that even after a long week, at no point are we entitled to sit here relaxing (or doing this, oops :).

And the double entendre of my theme ... with the lovely St. Louis thaw comes lovely St. Louis mud. On dog paws, in and out of house, all day long. Eight paws times what, 5 trips today at least? Is 40 paw wipings.

Maybe I should put THAT on to do list and cross it off.

100 Posts

The other day I posted my 100th post on this blog. So I feel the time is right for a look back...because I am in love with what started out as my lil baby blog.

It's taken me through finding out I was pregnant, finding out I sadly was no longer pregnant, finding out I was pregnant again, finding out I was pregnant FOR REAL, celebrating my son's 2nd birthday, celebrating my son doing so many amazing things since then, moving my house, moving my baby (remember all the breech baby posts? Rachel you were a good egg after all), having my baby (literally - don't I get a some sort of BlogHer honorable mention for the live feed from the hospital?), maternity leave (BlogHer would deduct points here, I kinda fell off the map), surviving maternity leave, mourning the end of maternity leave, returning to work, enjoying returning to work, and juggling returning to work with all the stuff above.

I neglect it, and I always want to be doing more with it. But I love this thing and love the people - I'm gonna shout out to Cara and Erin here - who inspired me to start.

I finally have a hobby besides one that originally stemmed off one of my husband's interests (aka Fantasy Football, golf, volleyball...)

I connect with so many smart and FUNNY ass women. I learn that we're all flawed and so when I lose it, guess what, MommyWantsWhiskey or whoever else I'm reading, lost it today, too.

And I guess in learning that we're all flawed, I find out really, we'll all just fine. Just all getting through this parenthood stuff in the way that seems best to us (and our spouse) at the time, at that moment.

Even if later on you realize it IS a mistake to give your kid Fruit Loops at 8pm as a bribe for getting on the couch to read books. And he's up until 10pm as a result from the sugar rush ... well, later, you can blog about it ... learn someone else did it too ... or worse! And that everything's gonna be okay once you just get the post out.

Granted I know sometimes the husbands might claim that we're all spending too much time in the cyber world. But I disagree. Women need connections. They need the network. Check out this recent study on how women handle stress differently than men. For us, it's about friendships and connections - it's about this.

Might be hooey, but sure rings true for me. So even though I don't always have time for the blogosphere, I'll keep making it. Even at 11:46 p.m.

Night, ladies.

Jury's In

Okay, survey says, we all love FaceBook like a sis.

And I'll admit, even though I'm in the "when I have time camp" that's a lie because oh, how I DO love her like a blood relation. Crackbook, indeed.

BUT ... I should have asked how we feel about the 25 Things About Me tagging thing. Because personally, I am getting all quirky stuff about me'd out ... it's spread like bubonic plague out there the last few days alone, don't you think?

Am I just being a sour puss resistor?

p.s. I quadruple check the alarm clock each night, I've had a callous on my writing finger since grade school cuz I hold the pen wrong, and I had cataract surgery two times as a kid. There's THREE MORE, SUCKERS.

Secret in My Pocket

Despite the well balanced work/life balance I've got going on in my new blog header, I am missing my baby girl a little this week.

I barely saw her Thursday and not much the nights prior. Last weekend was busy, for whatever reason, so it was more about hustling than cuddling.

Also, she's fighting a bad case of "sniffles" this week. But those "sniffles" are keeping her up, making her grouchy, uncomfortable, and all around, a needy little soul. A little soul I've not been able to attend to as much as I'd want. Or take to the doc myself or ... sigh.

I haven't complained much about this topic yet, right? So I'm entitled, a little?

Am planning to to make up for lost time this weekend. But given my state of mind ... I know you'll agree it's not weird at ALL that I've taken to secretly carrying her pacifer around in my coat pocket.

When It Snows in St. Louis

Yeah, I know you STLers probably all saw this already on the news. But maybe you out of staters need to appreciate the sports fever we still have in this town even in the dead of winter. Well, people other than me, of course. I hate baseball ... :)

Give It Up for the Left Brainers

Can I get a whoop whoop for my pal Erin who redesigned my entire web site for me? Just because she CAN and is GOOD and ENJOYS it?

I'm sure I would enjoy it too, if I had the faintest idea how to use PhotoShop. Or pick a matching color palette. Or, you know, just have a creative vision of any sort.

Okay, I'm not THAT bad. And, I have learned over the years to appreciate that "creativity" in my field (communications) means more than just the visual side of the work. For instance, I can creatively manipulate a too-short-to-complete-the-project timeline into something workable. I can creatively figure out how to tap the right people, at the right times, at the right order, to get the job done. I can turn not much meaty content, into a snazzy newsletter or intranet article.

I can even IDENTIFY good creative when I see it, or know how to edit something bad into good. (I know, probably your worst nightmare right? A non-creative who "likes to edit.")

But editing is just SO different than looking at a blank page and having that vision, and also the courage, to pick up the pen, mouse or what have you to make something happen, out of nothing.

I've gotten to work with some really creative people in the last year ... people at work that just, can see, what they want something to be like. And I've got Erin and some other friends that have their own businesses based graphic design - web, print, clothing and gifts. (Small plug: see bottom right nav for some of said ladies' really awesome web stores.)

And I gotta admit, I'm a little jealous.

Because you can learn to write, you can learn to project manage, you can learn to pitch and proofread and prepare budgets. But you can't learn to be a left brainer.

(CAN you, Mr. President?)

And we love ya for it!

Growing Pains, Take Two

I'm pulling out all of Rachel's old newborn and 0 to 3 month clothes to give to a friend's new baby. My BFF's little brother just had a new baby girl.

Her momma just had her at midnight last night. I'm not usually so on top of favors like this - everything's bagged up and sorted by size in the front room. But it's just that I have SO many tiny perfect and barely worn little things. Outfits and p.j.'s that only a brand new baby can fit, I want to hand them over right away.

New Mom and Dad will probably think I'm nuts when I try to stalk them down IN the hospital to hand them over. After all, this is a "friend of a friend" type relationship.

But I know what they don't: that Baby Gap newborn clothes are a gift from above for tiny (she's 6 lb 5 oz just like my Matthew was) little babies. And that she will look more precious than they could have ever dreamed in the teeny little pink polka dotted onesie and pants, a hot pink romper, or an angel soft pink striped sweet pea gown.

And that she may only fit them for about 2 or 3 weeks before they find themselves fruitlessly stuffing her into them, hoping she'll still fit, but then sadly realizing she's already graduated into the 0 to 3's. That's when they'll realize that even though she's still tiny, and right there with them, she's already growing up and away.

Yes, I know this is mushy with a capital M but ... who of you parents HASN'T felt that pang of sadness when the clothes don't fit. When they want to hold their own bottle. When they crawl away for the first time. Even though I know better, I look at Rachel all the time and think: Stop. Slow down, baby. Just stay the way you are a little longer.

With Matthew, I couldn't wait for him to do new things and prove to me he was healthy and track. But I was also sad to leave the last stage. What I didn't realize for a long time is that cliche is true: the best age really is whatever age your kids are at right now ... and that it really does just keep getting better.

So with Rachel, I'm much more aware of what fun lies ahead. That only as she grows up do I truly get to know and love her fully. But it's still confusing because since she might be my last experience with a baby, I want her to slow it down. And, she's my baby girl. (I don't know why, but that makes me want her stay tiny even more. Can it really be as simple as the tiny dresses and shoes???)

Also with Rachel, I find myself hurrying her in some ways (she plays independently a lot on the floor) but holding her back in others (starting her on rice cereal later than my son). Mainly I am just hyper aware that every day, for better or worse, she's one step further away from being that brand new person I met five months ago. That literal bundle of joy I couldn't believe I was finally holding after 10 long months.

And one step closer to being that sturdy, funny, lovable but oh so mobile and independant toddler that is my second child.

So in honor of new baby girls - and growing babies everywhere - here's how far my own little lady has come:

At two days old, getting her first photos. See how little she was next to daddy's finger? Aug. 29, 2008

Later that day, going for her first car ride home, to see her house for the first time ... you get the idea.

Fast forward four and a half months ... eating rice cereal for the first time. Jan. 17, 2009

Rachel, in less than half a year you've learned to hold your head up and get up on your elbows. Coo then smile then laugh then scream with joy. Roll over (at least once!) Notice when your bottle's coming. Sleep during the night and play by yourself with your toys (at least for a little while!) during the day.

You're our sweet precious girl and I know Randy and Melissa's new baby will bring the same joy to them. Congratulations, Smith family!