Saturday, October 10, 2009

Nostalgia, and Something Else

Tonight I took a spin through the blogosphere, catching up on friends' blogs. It used to be a regular habit (as you all probably know) but lately died off (again, you probably know). No more Aimee comments, or already knowing your news when I see you.

Anyway, I enjoyed it so much, it made me miss it and wonder, what happened?

I think part is the FaceBook / Twitter factor. Why type or read 3 grafs when 47 characters can tell me your latest and greatest?

I think clearly, part is my time. Post Rachel, unless work is unseasonably slow ... even on a regular week, I just truly feel that I. Have. No. Time.

Or rather, none for blogging, that I wouldn't rather put into something else. The 30 - 60 minutes I used to put to blogging, then get my TV time / extra sleep time in, too, has gone POOF with the moment I walked that baby girl through our front door in August last year.

Now, it's a precious 30 minutes to myself at the end of the night, maybe, and I'm just finding I'd rather spend it reading in bed, watching TV or go to bed at 9:30. Just anything totally mindless(trust me, the reading's mindless) non-participatory activity.

And then it ties in to ME just not feeling the blogging bug right now. I hate that I'm not, but it's true. But sad. Because one reason I did it was to document what the kids are up to, for posterity, and for family.

Okay, really I documented Matthew ... Rachel's life has never quite gotten to that status and hell, we know that is just normal second kid syndrome ("hmm, where is YOUR baby book, Rachel? well it must be in the attic, HMMmm, go ask Daddy..." "quick, fill out her blank, dusty baby book!"). I try not to feel too guilty. But I liked having those pieces of their lives down. And I imagined that someday, so would they.

Another part of what's going on is that because we are all SO much more connected - sometimes it's feeling, in a NOT so great way. Just more and more feel that nothing's personal. So, my FaceBook connects so someone's whose connects to their blog to mine ... basically, I consider anything on the ol' interweb to be so public that sharing my real, true thoughts with you now becomes ... for various reasons ... impossible.

And I'm not good at the random trivia. I'm not a "did you ever notice ..." kinda blogger. I'm more a "this happened, CRAP, let me ruminate here about it ..." and when I don't feel I can say what I want, then what is there to say?

Soooo ... for a long time that just left me with happy, inocuous posts. Kid milestones. New photos. Birthday party updates. Which are great and important and I want to make time for those too.

But my point of view feels gone, and I think with it, my motivation.

Oh well, at least I choked this whiny one out right?

Advice? Feeling the blogging burn, ladies?