Did the first week back make you sick?

It did us. Or specifically Rachel, who started throwing up around 7pm Thursday evening and didn't stop until 2am Friday morning.

Luckily the fates were in our favor to make a yucky (and I do mean GROSS) situation better, at least. Mike experienced a rare snow day Thursday AND Friday. The Friday one came none too soon. Just as we were starting to turn on each other in the, can you stay with her tomorrow? No I really can't but I will if you can't, debated, Libby our sitter texted us that school was off Friday too. She is an avid watcher of such reports.

So Daddy volunteered for night time, snuggling her on the couch duty. We didn't want to put her back in the crib again and change the sheets all night as we had already done it twice before we wised up and kept her with us and out of bed.

We think it was just a stomach bug. She was fine by morning. Nursed along by sippy cuts of watered down Orange Gatorade and a LOT of Daddy love. He really earned some sort of hall of famer badge.

I too earned a badge though maybe a bit sad but equally impressive for the ultimate career/family juggling: finishing up a powerpoint for work, while intermittently jumping up to hold her bowl and brush her hair back.

Add in the fact that it panicks me a bit in general because it's unfamiliar to us. Matthew's only gotten really sick once (on vacation, and it was a stomach flu that had ripped through the condo). Rachel just once did one of those quick ones, "whoops I ate too much BLAHHH" but not due to illness.

So here this tiny tiny girl who can't even talk, steadily removing fluids from her body for 7 hours, and even though I know from good counsel that can go on up to 12 hours before we need to start to worry. But you still worry. And then, it's just so sad.

It must be such a exhausting and frustrating experience for a toddler: having bad tasting stuff come out of your mouth repeatedly, your tummy hurts and churns, you don't even have the benefit to know why it's happening, and you feel sooo tired and worn out by the time it's midnight, and it's not stopping, that you just tip your head right on over your Daddy's arm, into your own puke bowl.

Now she is running around, seemingly rejuvenated (certainly LOUD :), with that energy you get back when your stomach flu mysteriously disappears as mysteriously and quickly as it hit you upside your little gut. So it's over! Crisis, extended flu and even doctor visit, averted.

But boy, does our front room still smell like vomit.

Concession Post

So, hmm, I do not seem to be blogging much. Sad. Just ... absorbed in work, life, and other things, I guess. Hey - I've actually been reading! Stupid stupid Twilight series sucking me in (save the commentary, non-fans - it's dorky, I know).

And yes, I even missed commemorating my baby girl's birthday, birthday party, Bridget's and much more. Unforgivable!

Recognizing, however, I still don't have it in me to scoop it all up in some witty posts just yet, but not wanting to deprive you of my beautiful girl's birthday shots any longer, I'm hoping this will tie you over.

This one's on my screen saver at work every day and just really makes me happy.

This is probably my favorite of the bunch. Grama Claudia and her baby Rachel.

Of course, then there's Daddy tending to his cake-faced one year old daughter (sigh :)

And the artsy black and white - Rachel with her most favorite toy, my old (OLD) doll from when I was a baby. These are all taken by Uncle Mark Jones at her party. He posted them to Picasa for me before I even had thought about downloading mine, which didn't compared at all. Mark was like a photojournalist, all OVER this party. Thank you Mark, what a gift.

11 Things About Rachel as an 11 Month Old

Just perusing months of backlog blog reading to inspire me to finally post again. So hard to restart after hiatus. Then I saw where my friend Cara posted this type of post for her 13 month old daughter. Okay, a focused angle. I can handle this!

1) She is awake for 60 minutes on the dot before she takes a hard core morning nap. (Except this morning of course, since I need her to be while I blog this.)

2) She is still eating some baby food for our convenience but mostly people food. Favorites include avocado, banana, any crackers or starchy thing like bits of wheat bread, yogurt and any type of meat (my little carnivore, for sure - Matthew wouldn't touch anything besides bits of chicken, maybe). We haven't tried milk. She gets formula in her bottle - and won't do the sippy (unless by "do" you mean bang it around and throw to the floor, that she'll do.)

3) Her favorite thing in the world is the cat. Hands down, bar none, I've never seen a child react like this to an animal. She squeals, grabs the fur, but also rolls her face on her, makes this sort of humming noise of happiness, and then rears up on her knees, puts her arms up in the air roller coaster style, SCREAMS, then flops on kitty full force. For more "love." And to answer the inevitable next question: yes, the cat actually tolerates it, for a while, before bolting, after which point, Rachel will try to dive off the bed, couch, wherever, after her, head first, no thought in the world about falling. She probably wouldn't care, either because ...

4) Rachel seems fearless - especially of us or any sort of disapproval or discipline. By that I mean of course the most basic stuff - Rachel, no no, do NOT go in that dog bowl. RACHEL NO! NOOOO! I have definitely turned up the intensity, more than I ever had to do for Matthew, and it still does NOTHING. The girl turns, grins, maybe even laugh in our face, and double down on whatever naughty/dangerous thing she was doing. She is absolutely our wild child. As she played with the fireplace gates the other day, and Mike is pulling her away repeatedly, I heard him say "Why are you so attracted to things that are bad for you?" and had a foreshadowing of conversations we'll probably be having in her 20's.

5) She is a happy, happy child who loves to laugh. I was speculating last night about whether she missed me on a short biz trip this week, or not. (I'd much prefer not - no ego on this, just want kids happy.) Mike shakes his head and smiles, "I don't think so ... Rachel always just has a good time, honey." As he's saying this she's laughing feeding spaghetti to the dog. Once again, I'm picturing my baby daughter as the someday life of the party in her college years and loving it.

6) She is now playing with that same little Fischer-Price musical "house" that "Santa" brought Matthew for his first Christmas. My first big gift to him that I was so excited to give him, and now watching her crawl back and forth through the door is just adorable, and ring the doorbell, and play with the clock. So many hours spent with her brother doing the same thing, it just warms my heart. She just gets such a kick out of you playing peek a boo through the door and windows, and it's just so cute when she ...

7) Giggles. This is by far the BEST part of having a little girl besides the clothes. Her sweet little girl giggles are different than Matthew and so special to me. She's my daughter, I think when I hear that little voice, that reminds me she's going from baby to little girl much quicker than I can imagine or would like.

8) Her hair is growing longer and sticking out in crazy directions above and below her ears. She's got that frumpy "why do they not FIX that?" look going but like many of you with little girls before me, I can't bear to cut it. We'll just see what happens and hope it grows quick. I still can't figure out barrettes (help needed).

9) Her night sleeping is awesome. Finally. A few months ago, there was a period of waking up 3, 4, 5, 6 (!) times a night for a paci. Not a big deal but layer in the regularly scheduled wakeups around here already for Matthew night terrors, dog whimpering, cat yowling or running, some animal puking ... etc. ... plus getting to bed around midnight for a while there when we were both really busy ... and I was zonked. But for a couple months now, she's goes down at 8 - 8:30, maybe 1 or 2 very quick paci-related wake-ups during the night, and goes until anywhere from 6:30 - 8:30 a.m. (depending on if we're up banging around or sleeping). Big side note: It usually takes her about 2-3 "rounds" of being put to bed to get her down. More often than not we hear crying at least twice within the hour of her going to bed, and take turns going in to find her standing at the end of the crib waiting for us. She doesn't need anything other than to be put back down with her paci, polka-dot blankey along her left side so she can hug it, and big fluffy blankey with the satin trim (that she likes to rub between her fingers) on top of her. We don't have to pick her up usually, but it's a high-maintence, multi-stage tuck in most nights.

10) She is cruising, climbing, practicing letting go and standing with her arms held straight up in the air "look at me!" style - but just for a second. But not walking or standing. People tell us, "Oh, she's just about to walk any minute" but Mommy has a feeling she might stick at this phase for a while. She is hard to predict. At 11 months old, she's totally physical, crawls fast as anything, and loves hitting anything like a bat or golf club to anything like a ball ... but when she doesn't feel like doing it - ala refusing to hold her own bottles STILL - she won't.

11) Her number one most favorite toy - besides the kitty, her brother, or us - is this squeaky old and deadly creepy dolly. That was mine. Something possessed my mom to go out of her way and MAIL this doll to us recently. I wasn't sure why she was so intent on it when Rachel has a zillion toys but maybe she knew something I didn't because Rachel loves this thing. Squeals at it, crawls toward it and even crawls around with it in her hand - pretty impressive coordination, actually. It's the one sure fire thing we can bring when we're out and about to keep her entertained, and for that reason I'm terrified of losing it. It's become the one thing that brings a smile and a screech every time.

Well, that was harder than I thought to contain to 11. Looking forward to 12 more next month ... though NOT to my sweet angel turning one, already.

Happy 11 months, my baby girl!

When Mom Goes out of Town ...

Baby gets a shiner!

Editor's Note: This blog title courteousy of Erin who shared this photo/fact with me. My husband conveniently forgot. In his defense, the same thing happened in my care last weekend when HE was out of town. Unexplained bruise on her forehead. Guess the ravages of crawling have begun to take effect on my poor baby girl!

Take My Advice

Tonight's child hygiene snafu was enough to shake me out of my non-blogging funk.

Take my advice: when What to Expect the First Year suggests rubbing mineral oil or petroleum jelly into baby's hair to remove her yellow, scaly cradle cap ... either live with the scales, or take the time to drive 2 minutes to Walgreen's and buy the mineral oil.

Do NOT use decide to use petroleum jelly just because that's what you have on hand. DON'T.

After 5 or 6 hair washings with regular baby shampoo, and 3 with a paste of baking soda mixed with baby shampoo (per interweb advice) she is only about 5% less greasy. Which still makes her as sticky and greasy as (fill in the blank - oil slick, 1950's teenage gangster's hairdo, VERY FULL POT OF VASELINE).

Should have snapped a photo but I was too traumatized working to quickly remove as much as a could, with household supplies we had on hand, given it was already running up on past bedtime by this point and I didn't have many options.

Verdict: on balance, interweb advice recommends cornstarch (and as I don't cook, I presently own none), followed by combinations of many non-baby friendly things like HOT water rinses, dish soap and multiple multiple shampoos.

They also say some will just absorb into a healthy scalp. Let's hope her scalp is SUPER healthy and starts to absorbin' quickly because I just feel terrible about putting her to bed like that tonight ... basically, dirtier than she's ever been going INTO a bath!

Mike accused me of "freaking out" but really, ladies, isn't our little girls' sweet smelling, soft hair out of the bath one of the highlights of mothering them? It is for me. I get a huge kick out of brushing it and I bury my head in her little fringe at her neck when I'm putting her to sleep.

Tonight it was like snuggling up with heavily glazed ham. And she looked ridiculous - it was all slicked down and awful. I was thinking, oh crap, Mike's not gonna want to try and clean it tomorrow until I get home, but he cannot take her to the grocery store looking like this!

Thankfully she's blissfully unaware of how yucky she looks. Before bed she was happy as ever, just grinning away under her balding old man's combover hairdo.

UPDATE: This morning, she woke up less greasy, though certainly not all shiny and fresh haired. I've downgraded her from glazed ham to day old porkchop.

Rachel's 8 Month, Mommy Fueled Photo Shoot

She's loving her tummy now because she can finally hold herself up for a long time, plus wiggle and scoot to her desired destination, eventually.

Rachel's signature move from this stage of her babyhood is the head tilt. She literally loves looking at life from all angles. Sometimes with a face so very serious (her other signature) and sometimes, so giggly and happy.

Our darling girl

Milestones I Can't Not Blog

I'll skip the preamble (so awkward trying to catch up on missed history with old friends, and same with blogs, isn't it?) and get straight to the good stuff:

Rachel baby update ...

Said her first word, 'Dada' on Friday May 1. Guess she wasn't content to let baby Shane have the spotlight with his own first birthday all to himself (that's my girl).

Mike swears she said it reaching up and then looking at him. I find she says it to me, Matthew, her feet, the wall next to her changing table, and really any passing object. But damn, I'll be glad to hear her mislabeling objects as Mama soon!

Think Matthew was the same way with the Dada first. Now before I go all working mommy guilt on you and think, ohhh, he's home more that's why ... my very own baby book and my little brother's, which were written by my mom who stayed at home at the time, noted her irritation at us ungrateful babies not only SAYING Dada first, but preferring him over her for a period of time as late stage babies. So Dads, if you got it, you got it.

Rachel is also on the verge of crawling. And I'm having that same "What am I thinking?" reaction every time I sit and watch and encourage and put my arm out for her to push off of/coaching move. Several babies I know just hit the crawler phase and guess what - I KNOW it sucks, made life X variable times harder, and that the gating / security system I will have to put up will know no bounds. Also, Libby may just conveniently stop remembering the way to our house. I know she's terrified, too.

Rachel is definitely a more curious kid than Matthew. She's a grabber and a taster. She watches. She's been scooting backward at a good clip for a couple weeks now, and she will back up around completely around the perimeter of the kitchen just to get one teeny tiny leaf the dogs dragged in that I didn't even see til it's in her little spitty chubby pincher and then mouth.

She just gives off a different vibe. Matthew didn't play with cords or go for light sockets. He was into his books and toys from the beginning. I will not state in print the amount of child proofing that I never did with Matthew ... he just, didn't explore.

But Rachel - she will be a nutcase. And I think I love it! It's that first sense I'm getting of her, her personality, that crazy little side of her I always knew for some reason would come out. I look at my knick knacks on the lower shelf of our front table (gone) and the bundles of cords (tied up) and the gate above our basement stairs that is presently more in name only than something that would keep a baby from going down the stairs because it's got a huge gap underneath (will be adding a second one at the step above it) and the office supplies I just neatly organized into baskets on LOW shelves all over our office (oh HA HA HA those are all gonna need to be empty and probably bolted to the walls).

I can just tell she's gonna be a monkey, a climber - and a stinker. And for some reason - maybe cuz that's still conceptual versus a reality yet (that will ruin my free time and oh, you know, occasionally risk her safety) I just get a kick out of it.

Well Let's Just See

I'm doing piles of work, Mike's scrambling in the other room to do our taxes on April 14th, and Rachel went to bed without a bottle tonight after fighting us on it for over an house.

What kind of sleep do YOU think we're going to get tonight?

And you can't say "A big pile of #$%!" no fair, cheating, that's too easy!

Answers may be:
a) Some
b) Sketchy amounts
c) Minimal, irritating to coworkers in the morning amounts
d) Tired, killing rampage tomorrow amounts

Stay tuned tomorrow for the answer!

p.s. Rachel, my little overachiever, c'mon - go for the "A"!

p.s.s. You can easily do good billing reports while watching American Idol. And yes, I DO love you, Kutey Pie Kris!

Because I Still Have Children - Photos from the last month or so

Rachel in her little black dress shirt from Grama Claudia.

Mike and Matthew at the first Spring Zoo visit.

The kids ready to tackle the Zoo.

Rachel sits up in her baths now like a big girl - and yep, she's almost always this happy and smiley these days except when she's sleeping or hungry (aka our lil piggy).

More to come ... unless I am lying and disappear for another 6 weeks, he.

Secret in My Pocket

Despite the well balanced work/life balance I've got going on in my new blog header, I am missing my baby girl a little this week.

I barely saw her Thursday and not much the nights prior. Last weekend was busy, for whatever reason, so it was more about hustling than cuddling.

Also, she's fighting a bad case of "sniffles" this week. But those "sniffles" are keeping her up, making her grouchy, uncomfortable, and all around, a needy little soul. A little soul I've not been able to attend to as much as I'd want. Or take to the doc myself or ... sigh.

I haven't complained much about this topic yet, right? So I'm entitled, a little?

Am planning to to make up for lost time this weekend. But given my state of mind ... I know you'll agree it's not weird at ALL that I've taken to secretly carrying her pacifer around in my coat pocket.

Growing Pains, Take Two

I'm pulling out all of Rachel's old newborn and 0 to 3 month clothes to give to a friend's new baby. My BFF's little brother just had a new baby girl.

Her momma just had her at midnight last night. I'm not usually so on top of favors like this - everything's bagged up and sorted by size in the front room. But it's just that I have SO many tiny perfect and barely worn little things. Outfits and p.j.'s that only a brand new baby can fit, I want to hand them over right away.

New Mom and Dad will probably think I'm nuts when I try to stalk them down IN the hospital to hand them over. After all, this is a "friend of a friend" type relationship.

But I know what they don't: that Baby Gap newborn clothes are a gift from above for tiny (she's 6 lb 5 oz just like my Matthew was) little babies. And that she will look more precious than they could have ever dreamed in the teeny little pink polka dotted onesie and pants, a hot pink romper, or an angel soft pink striped sweet pea gown.

And that she may only fit them for about 2 or 3 weeks before they find themselves fruitlessly stuffing her into them, hoping she'll still fit, but then sadly realizing she's already graduated into the 0 to 3's. That's when they'll realize that even though she's still tiny, and right there with them, she's already growing up and away.

Yes, I know this is mushy with a capital M but ... who of you parents HASN'T felt that pang of sadness when the clothes don't fit. When they want to hold their own bottle. When they crawl away for the first time. Even though I know better, I look at Rachel all the time and think: Stop. Slow down, baby. Just stay the way you are a little longer.

With Matthew, I couldn't wait for him to do new things and prove to me he was healthy and track. But I was also sad to leave the last stage. What I didn't realize for a long time is that cliche is true: the best age really is whatever age your kids are at right now ... and that it really does just keep getting better.

So with Rachel, I'm much more aware of what fun lies ahead. That only as she grows up do I truly get to know and love her fully. But it's still confusing because since she might be my last experience with a baby, I want her to slow it down. And, she's my baby girl. (I don't know why, but that makes me want her stay tiny even more. Can it really be as simple as the tiny dresses and shoes???)

Also with Rachel, I find myself hurrying her in some ways (she plays independently a lot on the floor) but holding her back in others (starting her on rice cereal later than my son). Mainly I am just hyper aware that every day, for better or worse, she's one step further away from being that brand new person I met five months ago. That literal bundle of joy I couldn't believe I was finally holding after 10 long months.

And one step closer to being that sturdy, funny, lovable but oh so mobile and independant toddler that is my second child.

So in honor of new baby girls - and growing babies everywhere - here's how far my own little lady has come:

At two days old, getting her first photos. See how little she was next to daddy's finger? Aug. 29, 2008

Later that day, going for her first car ride home, to see her house for the first time ... you get the idea.

Fast forward four and a half months ... eating rice cereal for the first time. Jan. 17, 2009

Rachel, in less than half a year you've learned to hold your head up and get up on your elbows. Coo then smile then laugh then scream with joy. Roll over (at least once!) Notice when your bottle's coming. Sleep during the night and play by yourself with your toys (at least for a little while!) during the day.

You're our sweet precious girl and I know Randy and Melissa's new baby will bring the same joy to them. Congratulations, Smith family!

A Fresh Start

It's obviously been far too long since I've blogged. I'll have to catch up on Christmas, Thanksgiving ... just about all the good stuff of the last couple months ... as I can. But in the name of the new year and making a fresh start, I wanted to just get back on the horse and post.

And thought this was a good a topic as any: I'm going to stop breastfeeding Rachel, probably tomorrow.

I've been able to feed her myself once, maybe twice, a day since I returned to work. I've been able to pump once or twice a day at work and maybe another time at home. The result is I've kept her on about at least 50/50 formula/breast milk combo or better the last 4 months.

It's been nice for my sanity returning to work. I never found it missing with Matthew, but it has helped me feel a close tie to her even after returning to work. It's also been helpful for weight loss (until the holidays hit, that is. But lactation can only do so much against 1,000 Christmas colored M&Ms.) AND it's saved us money. Yesterday at Sam's, Mike was like, "Hey, didn't we spend more on formula for Matthew?" And I'm like, "Uh, gee, yes, because I wasn't killing myself squeezing my boobs at work once or twice a day at work for a 'break' while my coworkers are at Starbucks." (Postscript: We left the store with giant vat of the Sam's brand, at 40% less than brand name. The doc and a couple good friends gave it the green light, so why would I pay more?)

But honestly, I'm not complaining about the pumping ... it's just, my body is. Basically, my boobs are telling me we're done. My pumping schedule's never been stellar since I was never fully committed to a certain length of time. Six months for at least some nursing was a loose goal, nothing more. Then over the holidays, surprisingly when I technically HAD more time (off work for two weeks) life and family and kid care taking and well, just relaxing, got in the way, pumping and nursing sloughed off, formula ramped up ... and here we are, with me not even making enough for a full feeding for her anymore.

Yep, it DOES feel sad. I mean, this morning took 45 minutes (because she's getting more alert, and plays around) and after all that we STILL had to feed her a small formula bottle because the poor thing was screaming when she should be sleeping, and then we realized she was still really hungry.

So I know it's time. And it'll make my life a bit easier, I know. But tonight as I washed some of my pump bottles for maybe the last time, and pulled the empty milk storage container out of the freezer, I wondered, do I do this one last time tomorrow? Or was this morning's rather unceremonious last time, it?

I'm not sure, but like everything else with this breastfeeding odyssey, and me, and Rachel, we'll just play it by ear, and see how we feel, tomorrow.

Beware the 100 lb Baby

Last night I fed Rachel around 8:45. I knew it probably wasn't enough, since I'd pumped just a bit earlier - I'm still working out how to synch up feeding/pumping schedules, obviously.

Anyway, I of all people know a girl doesn't like to be hungry, so I bottle fed her another 3 oz. of breast milk. There, that oughtta be enough.

Two hours later, she wasn't sleeping well and my husband (his turn on bedtime duty) was losing his you-know-what. So I sleepily mumbled, "You could always feed her a little more ..." and rolled over.

A bit later, he came to bed, quite proud of himself I asked what he did and he said, "I gave her another 4 oz of formula, THAT oughta do it."

So, my 14 week old baby drank, oh, I'd say, 8 or 9 oz last night.

I suspect she'll be ready for Weight Watchers by the time I get home tonight ... as Daddy has off school and is caring for her today.

MY Girl

I realize I'm a posting nightmare with the no posting for weeks, then the massive post, then a series of random photos.

But I can't help myself. LOOK at this girl from a couple weeks ago.

(Look past the baby acne, that is.)

First, she's darling to me in this photo.

Second, MOM, doesn't she look JUST LIKE ME as a baby?

Also damn cute in this fine Baby Sister shirt, available at a finer ZoeysAttic.com shopping cart near you.

Happy Early Halloween, Gramas!

Sweet girl in her festive new p.j.'s from Grama Claudia.

Cheeks are expanding!

Just in case you missed the booty on this baby.

Happy its almost Halloween!

My two sweet treats.

Who DOESN'T Like Whale Noises?

So the toybox rummaging this morning wasn't just fun bonding for Matthew and me.

It was a master plan for miss Rachel and napping and more of them more consistently.

She's great at night, but only pretty good to okay during the day. There's a lot of "Okay, I'm off to slee...HA HA, gotcha! Now pick me up and hold me for the next hour and a half. I'll keep pretending to drift off, but don't think I'm down because ... GOTCHA AGAIN!"

This morning, I was on a mission for a BFF I haven't seen since Matthew's late stages of babyhood. Behold, the Sleep Sheep.


This was my go to sleep move for Matthew. This was attached to his crib or bassinet or Pack n Play pretty much every day since birth - and every where we went. He seemed to be addicted to the whale noise setting when he went night night.

It was probably more like WE were addicted to FEELING that we had a routine. "Oh, did you pack the sheep? Well, he's GOTTA have his sheelp..." But whatever, we used this thing to death, it seemed to work, and I have in turn provided this to multiple other new mommies as gifts in the last couple years. But hadn't dug it out for little girl baby just yet.

SO - just switched the whales on for Rachel and attached it to the Pack n Play. At first, she actually did go right to sleep. Now I hear her hiccuping in the Pack n Play but the key is, not crying. Just taking in the soft chatter of whales. Fine by me, cuz here I am getting to type.

Sleep Sheep, we still got it.

Five Weeks?!??!

How can it be five weeks since I brought my sweet baby girl home? In that time, she's gained a pound (or more), while I've continue to steadfastly not lose any more.

Also she's breastfeeding really well, sleeping regularly, isn't crazy fussy, and even lets us get 4-5 hours of sleep at a time. Sometimes. When she feels like it.

She loves her big brother. I think...when she stares at him goggly eyed, and sticks her tongue in and out, that's love right?

And most days, HE loves HER. Kissing her, and telling her good morning and goodnight. And asking me (ALL DAY LONG), "Mama, where's Baby Rachel? What's Baby Rachel DOing? Oh, she's so lit-tle." And even shushing the dogs - and the neighbors' dogs - if they bark when she's sleeping.

Of course, there have been the times he's launched a sippy at her head, or whacked her with a Matchbox car. These things happen though with toddlers and new sibs. (Right???) Mostly that's been when he's been frustrated with ME, not out of straight jealous moments. You know when I won't give him what he wants. Which occurs any zillion number of times a day when I will not let him watch TV for the third hour in a row, or when I ask him to stop banging his airplane into the wall. Or when I, you know, ask him to Eat Food.

It can be stressful. That is for DARN SURE (read with slight note of hysteria). But overall, we seem to somehow be adjusting to this new powerful little force that arrived, literally, about 5 weeks ago to the minute.

Actually, I was probably mid push right about now, wondering if I was a wimp or if the nurses and doctor and Michael were crazy because, dude, I swear that epidural wore off before it even got started. Which reminds me, I still owe my blog her birth story. Maybe for week six ...

In the meantime, here's a recent one that pretty much embodies what I look at all day. This girl makes some FACES.

From 09-25-08

Also, from this past Saturday, Matthew enjoying the Grant's farm goats during our visit there when it was so beautiful out.

From 10-1-2008

He's came a long way from running scared into Aunt Kim's arms during a visit at this same time last year. Now he's giggling as they nibble him and is fact much more okay with his being eaten alive by baby goats than I am.

(And yes, somehow we managed this outdoors outing and lived to tell about it. I suspect we won't attempt such a feat again for while. NOT because we didn't have fun. Because it literally sapped every ounce of energy out of me to get them ready, out, enjoy the day, and get us home, and I'll be plugged into the wall recharging for months.)

Also this weekend, Baby Shane and Baby Amelia's double baptism made for a very special Sunday.I was a little more on the ball with Baby Amelia's (and Kim and Mark's) photos, sorry Shane buddy.

From 10-1-2008

From 10-1-2008

Matthew and Bridget agreed the best part of church is watching the train go by outside afterward.

From 10-1-2008

Later, we all had a fun time at the Jones' house reception, where I got this photo of the two little sweeties...and their babies, ha ha.

From 10-1-2008

Don't Aunt Erin and Aunt Kim ... respectively holding their niece Amelia and nephew Shane, look proud? They should, these kids are both lookers and both just as sweet as can be. Love you, Jones babies.

That's all. I should probably remove the baby from the swing after 2 hours, don't you agree? Especially given I've listened to her cry for the last few photo-uploads? (One of many differences between first and second kiddos; I'm impervious to guilt crying now.)

How's It Going?

Today is the day before my daughter's one month birthday so I felt my first post in 3 weeks might be in order. SOooo... Here's what's going on over here with me and the two (completely the boss of me) short stuffs:

Lots of sitting on the couch marathon breastfeeding sessions while watching endless morning/daytime/middle of the night TV. Which means CNN is about to cut me off as a junkie because it's the only thing that's dependably decent.

Lots of negotiating. Matthew, if you let Mommy feed Rachel, then I'll play Play-Dough. Matthew, if you let Mom finish pumping, I'll play cars. Matthew, if I let you watch Thomas, will you sit here next to us? (This just in) Matthew, if you let Mommy do the computer, I'll let you watch Wheels on the Bus (Thank you, YouTube, for not being a totally useless time waster but also a helpful childcare device. There are LOTS of cute videos out there. Such as 20 minutes of kittens playing/falling off things... he LOVES it).

Lots of guilt about what I'm NOT getting done every day. Sure, I would tell anyone of YOU just having babies, don't worry about laundry, dishes, thank you notes...and certainly not blogging or posting photos. Yet every day these chores and more loom over my head on most days where getting out of my p.j.'s and feeding us all our 3 squares a day (or 8, as the case may be) should be a big accomplishment.

Lots of borderline neglect of my toddler when I decide, dammit, I AM going to get on the computer or make this call or do X for just ten minutes. Such as right this minute when Matthew is in our room, opening and shutting the door, probably in between going through all our drawers and ingesting something poisonous I don't even know I have in there. And asking me for the zillionith time already this morning, Mama, what you doing? What you doing? Which reminds me...

Lots of endless answering of the same tiny toddler-voice-asked questions. Mama, where Baby Rachel? Mama, what's DAT? (in response to any noise we hear. all day long). Mama, where's Daddy? Mama, where's Maya (cat)? Mama, where's (someone we haven't seen in 3 months)? The amount of questions I am asked and answer each day should qualify me as the all time winner on the world's MOST annoying game show.

Of course, I love him so dearly and on "easier" days am really enjoying the time with him but... OH MY GOODNESS, THE CONSTANT ATTENTION WE NEED.

Did I mention this is only my FIFTH day alone with both of them? Not fiftieth. FIFTH. All the other days I've had moms or helpers thus everything felt deceptively manageable.

I know it will get easier. And I do love taking care of my own kids. But right now I don't have my hard protective "living with a toddler all day" protective shell built up. So it's all feeling overwhelming at the best of times. I'm sure I'll make my bones just about the time I go back to work, right?

Of course, it's not all frustration. There are moments of pure "OMG, how perfect are you kids?" Such as this:

I want to post a lot lot more...birth story, daily observations of being a mom of two, whining comments on sleep deprivation and of course, more on miss Rachel and her emerging personality. As I told EEJ, I have constant blog posts running through my head.

I just need that psychic Star Trek type magic translater to get them straight from my brain into my blog, along with suitably charming photos updates and captions. But until that time, I might be on the slow post schedule. Either that or one of you experienced mommies needs to teach me to type one handed while I feed her.

In the meantime to redeem myself, there are some photos of our first 2 weeks at home posted on my Picasa link here.

The New Style of Post: Random Thoughts from the Post-Partum Compound

Clearly I have no brainpower or time or energy for normal posts. Maybe because I've barely left the house (ok, couch) and breathing the same air day after day is leaving me with lots to say but no brain cells to type it. Anyway, here's the update I can muster:

-- Thank God and the lactation consultant ladies for the nipple shield 101 yesterday. It is saving my boobs, sanity, baby and probably marriage. And probably all family ties and friendships. I was a sobbing painful mess for Tue and most of Wed. Now I am a tired but sane and only slightly pained. Still a mess - but that's only because I'm wearing the same outfit as yesterday and day before and that outfit is milk soaked. Mentally, though - on my way to normalcy again. I think.

-- I hate this expressions (because, don't they all?) but Rachel seems to have her days and nights mixed up. Snoozes most of the day, with some alert periods. But nothing like the wide awake, Where are we GOING? Let's PARTY! personality we got from 2:45 - 4 a.m. last night after her 2 a.m. feeding. And with Mike going back to work today, my go to move of handing her over for an hour of Shushing post b.f.'ing won't work anymore. I think it's gotta be my gig most nights. Fire up the Tivo'd episodes of Oprah!

-- Besides above life-energy-sapping behavior, she is still very sweet. Think we're still in honeymoon period where she only cries when she has a need. Hates to be cold, or waiting for boob and WILL let you know but then quiets down; when she keeps us awake at night, it's just because she will fuss when we put her down, and I pick her up so it doesn't ramp into the scream - but if you just sit and hold her, she's fine. BUT, I know the truth is yet to come. As my doc said at her appointment yesterday, "She'll still be good now. We wouldn't see colic or any of that type of behavior until about 3 weeks." Yes, miss sunshine, I know, but thanks for reminding me. The clock is ticking in my head to that 3 week mark, believe me. I am literally holding my breath until that point.

-- She gained 3 oz since leaving hospital. In the next week she should gain 5 oz. to get back to her birth weight and make me and doc happy. I suspect she'll do it. She is my daughter. She can gain 10 oz. just by LOOKING at a bottle.

That's all from the mommy 'hood for now. More pictures to come, I swear, you people are animals!

p.s. Today I have busted out My Mommy's Pockets apron for the first time. A full review to follow but so far, I've had paci, burp cloth and cell on hand just when I wanted them! And damn, it's so cute. Thanks, Lig and EEJ! And thanks, Hutch, for being to so inventive. I saw your Baby Talk ad, too, just while perusing through the copy I picked up on a BRU run the other day. That kicks butt!

Brother and Sister Muldrow

There's so much to post about I can't begin just yet. So I'll just say... I DO see the resemblance between my kids (my KIDS!!!!) that some people are seeing. I didn't at first but...


Matthew at 3 days old

Rachel at about 3 hours old.Similar eyes, nose, mouth, (cutest little) bags under eyes (that you ever saw). But you can see, she's clearly a girly girl whereas he was clearly an 80 year old man.

p.s. I know these won't hold ya over. You are insatiable for baby photos, aren't you. If you haven't seen them yet, Erin's blog has a beautiful post including a link to lots more photos. Thanks for being SO on the game this week, Aunt Erin, we love you for it.

p.p.s. I wish I could point you to the Web Nursery hospital photos. But I can't because they are not posted like they said they would be. Just like they never ever ever are whenever friends have babies and I obsessively search again and again to see if they've posted. Which they usually do like 10 days later, when the kid's already off to high school.