Tuesday, August 5, 2008

I Am Not Open-Minded

Because, honest to God, I really don't see myself doing anything remotely like this.


... Get a broad plank of wood, like an ironing board. Prop it at an angle against the couch or a chair ... Lie on the board with your head down and feet resting on either side of the board on the couch. Try it a couple times to get it right.Remain on the board for up to 20 minutes, 3 times a day. (YEAH I'LL GET RIGHT ON THAT.)

After you've got this down (YOU HAVE BECOME A CIRCUS PERFORMER! CONGRATS, NEW BABY AND NEW CAREER!) and you can relax inverted like this, put a bag of frozen veggies (CAN THEY HAVE A CREAM SAUCE? MMMM), wrapped in a thin towel, behind baby's head, and a very warm “hot pac” in front of the baby near your pubic bone. Put the warm pac on the same side of your belly as the baby's hands and feet are on, but close to your pubic bone.Other times, place a paper towel tube in the same spot and have family members speak through it or play Beethoven. (WE PREFER OUTKAST, HOPE THEY TOO HAVE BREECH FLIPPING POWERS)

What they forgot to talk about was when do you call the witch in to wave her wand while you juggle hot coals and speak Swahili to gently encourage you baby to move away from the peas?

This is dang complicated. And what size ironing board is that anyway? Because I'm pretty sure mine is about a size 6, and I'm about double that action at least.

KJ, was this what yours involved? Because I went to that website hoping for something more akin to "Lie on the floor and gently stretch your leg over your head ..." type of advice. Something more yoga like. And not involving frozen produce?

Oh well, baby Rachel/Katie and I have another five days to figure this out, I guess. Thanks for the comments earlier. Hopefully she'll take a header on her own here soon before I'm forced to make any decisions.

3 comments:

Kim said...

It sure as hell did not involve anything such as peas!?!?!?

What in the world is all that about? I will say I check out that website after I talked to you and they seemed to have changed it a bit.

To flip my baby, I just had to lay on the floor with my knees propped up on the coffee table. No food or music involved!

Sorry for the advice, didn't realize that craziness.

Aimee said...

exactly! and I didn't seem to recall you talking about any doing any gymnastics, more like stretches...but was then thinking well, maybe since my girl is in a diff position that Amelia, and that was the difference...

Oh I forgot to mention. tHe other option is I can lay upside down, down a flight of stairs...

erindelanty said...

kim - did mark ever take pictures of that? i only wish there were frozen peas involved AND a picture of that.

aim - we're looking forward to coming to see you and babygirl m in the circus!

funny, funny post!