P.S. I feel I should explain

As you read down these posts, you'll notice an odd situation:
Two sets of tests
Two months apart

So maybe everyone's smarter than I'm giving them credit for - but just in case - here's the scoop:
Back in October, I took two pregnancy tests and was (very shocked) to find out I was pregnant after our first month of trying.

Then, unfortunately, I got over that shock real quick - and had a new one - when I realized I was having my period three days later. And was no longer pregnant.

THAT revelation occurred while I was out of town on a one day business trip. I was pretty crushed. I mean, are you kidding me? Did it HAVE to be the day I'm traveling with men all day?
The next morning (before leaving town for a second trip that same week) I had to go get my blood drawn at 6 a.m. at St. Luke's. Just to confirm what I already knew - that my hCg was down, and that I wasn't pregnant after all, or anymore.

Let's just say it was a bad week.

But by the following week, we took a breath, realized there wasn't anything wrong and that sometimes, pregnancies just don't take. If I hadn't tested so early, I never would have known. It happens.

But since I did know and had called my doctor, she asked us to wait a month before trying again. So now my perfect summer baby timeline was getting even further off.

THEN I reminded myself that in the scheme of how long people wait for their babies, one month was nothing at all. So we bucked up, looked on the bright side (longer to save money, we could wait to move over the summer) and waited.

And then - as luck would have it - here we are, again. So clearly I'm nervous - as hell - but I feel different this time. I feel symptoms like I did with Matthew. I so much hope I am not imagining it. I know Mike is thinking the same.

Mum's the Word

It is sooooooooo hard not to tell people.

Was waiting with Erin while Tim and Mike put in Bridget's car seat for 20 minutes after volleyball. Talking about her symptoms and I just wanted to say I AM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU! Well, not really and thankfully - no gagging, yet.

Day 2

It's all I can think about, in this order:
I can't believe it happened just like THAT.
Oh God, we have to move.
Oh God, I must be insane.

How could I so immediately be scared of what I wanted?

I know it will pass. Just need to find some cute baby pictures to stare at. And remember that we didn't have a clue how we'd do it with Matthew, either.

Week 4
Physical: A little nauseous, stuffy, still achy from golf.
Mental: It's sinking in.

Oh.My.God.

I took two tests today ...

And I passed. Twice. It's official - we're having number two!

The above was taken a short 24 hours after this one of the same smiley girl below.

Course here, I had no clue. Mike captured me in Pana, IL, where we celebrated our 6th anniversary with a one night trip to Oak Terrace Resort. Where we blissfully played 18 holes of golf, had three glasses of wine/martinis (me and Mike respectively), a giant and peaceful dinner - and never once considered that we had a freeloader on this trip.

Mark and Kim had kindly taken Matthew for the weekend. We had commented on how unaccustomed - and welcome - this brief freedom felt.

So, that's the end of all THAT.

I created this new blog to specifically talk about what I anticipate to be the, er, unique challenges of a second pregnancy while working a full time (heavy full time) job while raising a toddler, attempting to be a wife and dog/dog/cat owner...and maintain just a tiny bit of myself, too.

I thought I'd also use it to chart daily or at least weekly how I'm feeling and what's happening with the pregnancy. So to kick it off:

4 weeks
Physical: Not nauseous, maybe a little tired, starting a cold with a sore throat and some congestion.
Mental: A LITTLE FREAKED OUT.
Notes: I took a three hour nap today. BEFORE I knew. I will be prone to headgames now that I know (aka my snappishness to Mike about why the hell it's so g.d. hot in this house tonight). But that nap was pre-testing. So I'm hoping that was a result of the lack of sleep we got last night from that crazy hotel mattress...and not a sign of the tiredness to come - that bone crushing first trimester tiredness - that I know is coming.

Not that I'm not excited and thrilled, because I am. And I know we're blessed.